Soccer Supremo - A Sports Progression Fantasy

Finally to the relevant moment: While all that was going on, Kisi and Meghan came over to us. ”Hello, boys,” said Meghan, flirty and provocative. She knows how to get the lads to pay attention. ”Kisi and I have a question.”

”Kisi and me,” said Kisi.

”That’s exactly our problem! We don’t know which way is correct. One of you handsome boys must have done English at A-Level.”

”Not me,” said Tom Westwood. ”I wasn’t allowed.”

Cole said, ”What do you mean, you weren’t allowed?”

”My English teacher said he would quit if I came back for more. He was a decent teacher so for the benefit of society, I stuck to what I was good at.”

”What’s that?” said Kisi.

”Dancing,” said Tom, as he wriggled on his seat, clicking his fingers. I think he winked at Kisi.

I said, ”Kisi and I.”

Kisi’s eyes lit up. ”Why do you say that, Banksy?”

”Because it’s, like, you’re the subject of the sentence. I think? And it’s the other way when you’re the object.”

Meghan knelt on the seat in front of me and leaned closer, head on her elbows, admiring me. ”You’re the object of my affections, Banksy.”

”Haha,” I said, trying not to turn red.

Kisi came to sit to my left and so all the action was on my end of the row. ”Banksy, you are kind and sweet and kinda sweet.”

”Haha,” I said.

”Meghan and I have got a mission for you.”

”Meghan and me,” said Tom, hopefully.

Kisi ignored him; she only had eyes for me. ”The women’s team try to keep Dani informed about what’s going on around the club. Not just the usual Whatsapp groups - she’s in those with us - but some of the gossip and the flavour and the texture.”

”We’re talking about longform,” said Meghan. Tom opened his mouth to say something but she looked at him and said, ”Don’t.”

”I don’t get what you’re saying,” I said.

Kisi said, ”Here’s the sitch, Wilf. We’re all going on summer hols now but you and Tom - ”

”Tom and you,” said Meghan.

”Will be coming back early.”

”I will?” I said. ”That’s news to me.”

Kisi shot a guilty look towards Max. He was busy on his phone. ”Er, yeah, it’s just speculation, isn’t it? I’m just thinking that if I was Max I would have you in mind for one of my madcap adventures.”

I looked to my right. Me and Tom. Tom and me? If Kisi was right, it would mean that Max wanted to loan me to Saltney Town for the season! I would get a league winner’s medal and even better, I’d get to play in the Champions League! The qualifiers, anyway. My heart was pounding! ”But,” I said. ”What about Rainman?”

”Owen? What about him?” said Kisi.

”I mean, he was at Saltney Town and he helped them to win the league so he should get the chance to play in the Champions League.”

Meghan eased away from me. No longer so keen to be seen in my presence! ”You think you can do squadbuilding better than Max Best? Kisi, he’s a bad choice. He’s off his head.”

”I’m not - ” I started. ”Of course I don’t - ”

Kisi was giving me a sorrowful look. ”Might be an idea if you let Max do his thing while you concentrate on your thing. Your thing is to look pretty, go where Max tells you, smile, and then write down what happens in above-average grammar and send it to Dani.”

”But hang on,” I said, because they were getting up to go. ”What do you even mean? What am I supposed to write about?”

The girls exchanged looks. ”When it happens,” said Kisi, ”you’ll know.” They giggled.

Meghan tapped Cole on the knee. ”What about you? Do you know how to hold a pen? Think you can impress Dani?”

I went, ”I said I’d do it.”

”Oh? Cool,” said Kisi. ”That’s that, then. Bye.”

They walked off, and I felt like they were waiting until they got round a corner to fall into each other and laugh.

I don’t think I was the only one who got that idea. Josh Owens went, ”What was all that about?”

Tom laughed. ”Banksy showed off and got given homework.” He shook his head. ”That’s why I always played dumb at school but I’m actually one of the few people in Chester who can keep up with Henri Lyons.”

Cole made a scoffing noise. Josh said, ”But Banksy, what do you suppose it means?”

I had to admit that I didn’t have the first clue, and I spent a month thinking about it.

Today it finally happened. I think it’s fair to say no-one could have predicted how today would pan out.

On the drive home I’ve been watching videos about how to be a better writer so I’m gonna experiment with tenses until I find ’my voice’.

***

You wake up and find you have a text message from Henri Lyons.

We’ll pick you up in an hour.

You get dressed and try to stay calm.