Livestream Conflict-solver: The Whole Internet Begs Me for Justice!

28: Let’s go shopping and spend some money!To fight is a dead end.

To cower is also a dead end.

To run is an even greater dead end.

He suddenly remembered Zhang Ze’s “devout” reply in the comment section—[Bathe and burn incense, listen with an open mind, and truly experience your master’s ‘art’ and ‘philosophy’!]

Art? Philosophy?

A glimmer of hope for survival suddenly burst forth in Lei Long’s eyes.

That’s right!

Fighting is not an option.

But we can “discuss”!

What did I, Lei Long, do before? I used to resell tea leaves! What am I best at? It’s my eloquence! It’s my ability to bluff! It’s my skill at praising thirty-yuan tea leaves as three-thousand-yuan millennium ancient tree tribute tea!

I’ve been dimensionally crushed by you in terms of martial power, but I can pull you into my domain on the level of “philosophy” and “art,” and then defeat you with my rich experience in boasting!

“I’ve got it!” Lei Long slapped his thigh, and the terror on his face was instantly replaced by a kind of pathological excitement.

He snatched his assistant’s phone, found Zhang Ze’s account, and opened the private messages.

He wanted to seize the initiative! He wanted to redefine the nature of this “sparring match”!

Lei Long’s fingers tapped rapidly on the screen, a profound and inscrutable smile, like that of a “master,” appearing on his face.

[Master Lei Long]: “Investigator Zhang, hello. I have seen your righteous actions at City Third Middle School and am deeply impressed! You are a hero who speaks for the people, and my meager martial arts are not worth mentioning in the face of your great righteousness.”

“After much deliberation, I feel that the martial arts sparring match on Saturday has lost its meaning. For us martial artists, strengthening the body is minor, cultivating character is major. In order not to occupy your precious time handling official duties, and to promote the true essence of Chinese martial arts—‘martial virtue’ and ‘philosophy’—I have an impertinent request.”

“On Saturday’s live broadcast, we will not spar. How about we... ‘discuss the Dao’?”

“We will, in front of the entire network audience, discuss the true meaning of ‘stopping conflict through martial arts’ and talk about the realm of ‘a great hero serves the country and the people.’ What do you think, would that be good?”

After sending this private message, Lei Long let out a long sigh of relief, feeling like he had come back to life.

He seemed to already see Zhang Ze, that naive young man, dumbfounded and speechless when facing his “philosophical attack” with its classical allusions and eloquent arguments.

You want to play culture with me? You’re just a young man in your early twenties, still a bit too green!

Lei Long shook his head proudly and said to his assistant, “Go find my treasured collection of ‘Commentaries on the Dao De Jing’ and ‘Applications of Sun Tzu’s Art of War and the Thick Black Theory.’ I’m going to pull an all-nighter to prepare tonight!”

Zhang Ze was driving his audi a6l, leisurely cruising around Jianghai City.

The audi a6l’s sound insulation was excellent, completely isolating the outside noise, leaving only the faint sound of the air conditioning.

He picked up his phone and immediately saw the private message from [Master Lei Long].

“Discuss the Dao?”

Zhang Ze was stunned for a moment.

“Hahahahahahaha! Holy crap! This old guy is a talent! He can’t beat me in a fight, so he’s going to try to talk me to death? And he even calls it ‘discussing the Dao’? Why doesn’t he just say he’s going to hold a ritual?”

[Ding! Lie Recognition (Intermediate) activated. Keyword prompts: desperate survival, changing the subject, last struggle.]

The system prompt sounded just at the right time, making Zhang Ze laugh even harder.

“Haha, the last struggle! System, your summary is brilliant!”

He could completely imagine Lei Long’s comical appearance—scratching his head, sweating profusely, racking his brains to come up with such a “brilliant plan” when sending that private message.

Should he reply?

Zhang Ze thought for a moment and decided not to reply yet.

Let this old swindler suffer a bit longer in fear and anxiety. When a cat catches a mouse, it always plays with it for a while, doesn’t it?

He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat and let out a long sigh.

After dealing with justice, shouldn’t he enjoy life a bit?